How to Build Attraction with Your Ex Again

Okay, so you're thinking about getting back with your ex. Maybe you've been apart for a while, maybe it was a recent breakup, but either way, you're feeling that pull back towards them. You miss their laugh, their smile, the way they made you feel. It's totally normal to have those feelings, but let's be real, it's not always a smooth road to rekindling that flame.

The first thing to do is to take a deep breath and honestly evaluate the situation. Why did you break up? Was it a dealbreaker? Are those issues still present? If you're not sure if getting back together is the right thing to do, don't rush into anything. Take your time, reflect, and consider all the angles.

Here's the deal: rebuilding attraction with your ex isn't about chasing after them, it's about becoming the best version of yourself and letting them see that you're worth it.

Think about it this way, you're not just trying to win them back, you're trying to rekindle a connection that once existed. You're trying to get them to see you in a new light, maybe even better than before. It’s not about begging or manipulating, it’s about showing them that you've grown, you’ve learned, and you’re ready to show up for the relationship in a way that you maybe didn't before.

Step 1: Time for Some Self-Reflection

Before you start making any moves, take some time to look inward. This isn't about blaming yourself, but about understanding your part in the breakup and what you can do differently this time around.

What Went Wrong?

Really analyze the reasons for the breakup. Was it communication issues? Different life goals? A lack of trust? Once you understand the root of the problem, you can work on addressing it.

What Did You Learn?

Breakups are tough, but they can also be valuable learning experiences. What did you learn about yourself and what you want in a relationship? Did you realize you need to be more assertive? Do you need to focus on your personal growth?

What Did You Miss?

Think about the things you miss about your ex, both the good and the bad. Was it their sense of humor? Their ability to make you feel safe and loved? Do you miss their morning coffee routine? This can help you understand what you want in a future relationship, and what you're willing to work for.

Step 2: The Art of the No-Contact Period

Okay, this is a tricky one, but hear me out. The no-contact period is super important. It's not about playing games, it's about giving yourself (and your ex) the space to process, heal, and move on. It allows you to focus on yourself and become a better version of yourself. Plus, the absence can make the heart grow fonder, right?

How long should you go no-contact? There's no magic number, but aim for at least a few weeks. If you're dealing with serious issues, you might need a longer period to really work on things.

No Contact Doesn't Mean Ignoring Them Completely

If you bump into them at the grocery store or something, don't avoid them completely. A polite, brief exchange is fine. Just keep it casual and lighthearted.

Focus On Your Own Growth

During this time, use it to your advantage. Focus on your goals, your passions, your hobbies. Start that project you've been putting off, join a new club, or just spend time with friends and family. The goal is to become a more well-rounded, confident, and interesting person.

Step 3: The Re-Entry (Slowly)

So, you've had some time to work on yourself, and you're ready to see your ex again. It’s time to ease back into their life, but remember, this is not about jumping back in headfirst. Keep it casual and lighthearted, think about the initial stages of a new relationship.

Start with a Text or a Call

Just a simple, "Hey, how are you doing?" or "I saw [something related to their interests] the other day, reminded me of you." Keep it brief, see how they respond, and go from there.

Suggest Hanging Out in a Group Setting

Going to a party or a casual event with mutual friends is a great way to reconnect without putting too much pressure on the situation. This allows you to see each other in a relaxed environment without the pressure of a one-on-one date.

Stay Positive and Confident

Remember, you're not just trying to win your ex back, you're trying to show them who you are now. Be confident, genuine, and positive, and let them see the amazing person you've become.

Step 4: The Signs of Rekindled Attraction

As you start to reconnect, pay attention to the signs. Is your ex showing interest? Are they asking about your life? Do they seem happy to see you? These are all good indicators that the attraction is still there.

But, Don't Jump the Gun

Just because there's attraction doesn't mean everything is magically fixed. Don't rush into anything too quickly. Take it slow and steady, and continue to communicate openly and honestly.

Step 5: The Dreaded “What If?” Conversation

At some point, the "what if" conversation is going to come up. It's inevitable. Be honest about your feelings and your hopes for the future. This is a chance to talk about the issues you faced before, and how you've both changed. You can also set clear boundaries and expectations for the future, making sure you're on the same page.

Remember, this is a Journey, not a Race

Rebuilding attraction with your ex takes time, effort, and open communication. Be patient, be yourself, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. You're not guaranteed to win them back, but you will learn and grow along the way.

Here's the Bottom Line:

• Be honest with yourself about your feelings and the situation.
• Work on becoming the best version of yourself.
• Take time to heal and reflect during the no-contact period.
• Reconnect slowly and casually.
• Pay attention to the signs of attraction and communication.
• Talk openly and honestly about your feelings and future expectations.

And, remember, if it's meant to be, it will be. Don't force it. Let things unfold organically, and enjoy the journey.